all for nothing... all for nothing...

I feel sad because I really loved.
I’m enraged because I gave away what I never thought I’d be able to get.
I feel pity because I know he still misses me,
I can tell by his voice resounding in my head.
What did I hope to gain confusing everything since the beginning…?,
fooling who loved me, or at least who was eager to try.
Now there are just poisoned traces, ashes that smother my life, my brain.
Why was I so afraid? Why not wanting him anymore?.
I can see him smiling at me, I can see him hating me.
Being caressed by him, my loss he says…
blaming him for no reason, my loss!.
Trying to find my basis to get away…
in an attempt to find my lost foundation
I kicked him aside trying to run far from here.
Just in case he feels like coming back
I left a gray cloud over our feelings,
hoping it keeps him away.
I left my heart next to the moon
knowing it will heal standing by the coldness.

We didn’t need to keep loving each other anymore.
We didn’t need to keep trying bringing to life a death body.
I believed in him, and I’d believe again…
because I know him, I know what he didn’t do,
I knew there was no reason to doubt,
I know what I did, and I know I had to.

I caused myself pain (I liked it),
our tears smashed the ground
like everything we had given up in the past
just to be together.

Now what’s left is just a body with somebody else’s smell.
Why was I so afraid?...
now I’m just a body wandering upon somebody else’s hands,
swimming in skin I need to make mine.