These winter nights will be gone tomorrow, my long walks under the snow will be over. Maybe meeting somebody wasn’t a good idea, I feel like I’m bleeding inside the hell of his head. The seeds of his sick charm keep growing in my heart; maybe I’m just living strongly deep at dawn when I see his warm body besides me.
The next day is dark, red like fire, bullshit feelings wandering around my existence, his poisoned hands take me away from the light into the obscure tears of my wounded mouth. His magic turns unknown but nothing is new at the same time. From the lightening to the darkness, his eyes kill me; from the darkness to the lightening, his unreal love is twisted.
I’m breathing, I’m drunk, I’m dying, I’m still living…why am I still alive?
I can see what he can´t, whether I want it or not he is a part of me already; he may even be stuck to my flesh, that’s what he can’t see. The things he says, the things he does, all is wrong, I’m in hell. The lovers I’ve had, the waste of time, the drama, sad endings.
I feel like getting away, I feel like knowing what is happening in places where I haven’t been before, I feel like not knowing and to take at once. What I ask from him and what he can’t give, those things that stay being just a try.
Everything is about to blow up in my face all the time. I can´t look into his eyes no more, I feel like lying, I’m burning inside, our passion is chasing us but fading away into the infinity. Am I going too fast?, am I going anywhere?, my life is nonsense.
This is all good, this is all bad. I’m falling, I’ve lost faith, I’m hurt, I need something new, people to talk to, someone to listen to, I need to open that door, I need to find him. No more pain, I don’t need more pain just a soul far away to be as one, together as one.
