Sometimes when I have nothing to do I like to listen to my music sickly loud with my headphones, and I cry, I cry for feeling lonely, even when I was with Landon I used to cry for being lonely, I cry for wanting things, I cry for not being at home, I cry for not having money. Crying is a very important part in my life, the good thing is that I do it when I'm by myself so nobody has to say I'm a wuss or stuff like that.
When you have nobody to call, when you have nobody to miss your life seems to have no sense, even when work fulfills you, even when you have good friends; but still is like something is missing. I don't know if I came to America to find the guy of my dreams, I found Landon, who turned out to be my worst nigthmare, but he was fun. Not the guy of my dreams though.
I do have dreams about him, I dream that we see each other again, I dream that we bump into each other in the middle of a crowded street in Denver and we have a decent normal conversation. Some other dreams have to do with being together again. I dream that I tell him we need to go away, far from here, so we rent a U-HAUL little truck and put all our stuff inside and start driving to New York or some exciting city like that.
I have to take the bus everymorning at 5 a.m. and so many things go through my mind in the almost 6 blocks have to walk in the dark with my music in my ears and cold as hell, now that fall is taking over the short summer, I feel I won't be able to make it here alone one more winter.
When you have nobody to call, when you have nobody to miss your life seems to have no sense, even when work fulfills you, even when you have good friends; but still is like something is missing. I don't know if I came to America to find the guy of my dreams, I found Landon, who turned out to be my worst nigthmare, but he was fun. Not the guy of my dreams though.
I do have dreams about him, I dream that we see each other again, I dream that we bump into each other in the middle of a crowded street in Denver and we have a decent normal conversation. Some other dreams have to do with being together again. I dream that I tell him we need to go away, far from here, so we rent a U-HAUL little truck and put all our stuff inside and start driving to New York or some exciting city like that.
I have to take the bus everymorning at 5 a.m. and so many things go through my mind in the almost 6 blocks have to walk in the dark with my music in my ears and cold as hell, now that fall is taking over the short summer, I feel I won't be able to make it here alone one more winter.
If you are reading this, all I have to say is that I'm so sorry for what I did, Im sorry I broke your heart, and if you ever want to go away with me, I'll be waiting for you, not as your lover but just as a friend.
Maybe if I keep travelling I'll be able to not to get so crazy when I'm about to fall hard for somebody, I know next year will bring a bunch of new stuff for me, Europe is waiting for me, I don't know what I will do, but lets just say that I'm eager to go the whole wide world just to find him.
:)
...just to find out where they hide him...
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