The "F" Word

Everytime you’re with someone, just the fact of walking by the streets in front of other people pushes you to define the relationship, even when there’s no relationship at all. When you’re a single girl who hasn’t had a serious relationship in the last couple of years there’s a point in your life when you see yourself sorrounded by sex-buddies as friends and, I’m telling you, after the screwing is over it’s a must-do to have the boundaries well-set.

What I’ve realized by now is that in this world you can date without sex and screw without dating, for instance... I’ve heard some girls saying you ought to withold your panties in order to get a relationship with the guy you want, they think that sleeping with him in the first date will ruin the oportunity to get the relationship to start. YES guys that’s what girls think, and you know what, when I´ve asked my male friends about this, let me tell you I’ve had plenty of replies wether agreeing or disagreeing.

During the pathetic period in my life that I spent/wasted with “J”, he used to say “you’ve got to stop trying to make it be something else and appreciate it for what it is”, of course HE DIDN’T WANT A RELATIONSHIP!! this is what happen when you are the one who doesn’t want to set the boundaries, call me stiffy, but I guess boundaries are necessary, not only to know where you’re going but to know where you’re definitely not going.

The Future is really scary, is the F word for the singles, definately a bad word, particularly when you know that maybe your next birthdays, when you’re thirty (my scary age) you’ll still be wandering in life, arriving home alone, having dinner in front of the TV and asking yourself what the hack is wrong with you?

Sometimes I get to think about the F word, that creepy word which reminds you you’re ageing, wich reminds you you’re alone and also that you’re too difficult to let anybody get into your life by now. Maybe this could scare guys away, but I’m certainly the kind of girl who needs someone however is too terrifyed to admit it, so the only way out she finds, is holding up into her habits and bad manners to kick men out over and over.

Let’s start with those terrible little crazy things that I’m talking about. As a start I hate guys touching my stuff when they’re at my place, everything has a particular location, if you move it, put it back where you found it!. I can’t stand someone else sleeping in my bed, I don’t like seeing a guy peeing in front of me (no matter how long we’re together WE MUST NEVER SHARE THIS KIND OF STUFF!) and it certainly pisses me off when your date (someone you’re getting to know) asks you what are you doing next weekend, I mean... excuse me... I have a life too!!

Maybe these are all my defense shields to avoid to go in any more bad dates. One friend of mine told me once: “Maybe Kinky you should change the people you hang out with”, what I said was “DUUUHHH!!” of course I know that. Having all my closest friends being gay won’t really help me to have a nice, caring and hardworking boyfriend right?, but at least I’m having fun.

Is my future which scares me the most by now, I mean I know there’s no rush, I’m young, intelligent, average looking and independent, but I must say... the waiting is driving me nuts!!!