13 SECONDS...running.

Once I was checking out my sister's "The Reader's Digest", is the kind of digest me and all my family have read when we are hopitalized or when we have to go on a long family trip, unless that's what I remember for my family kodak moments.

The thing is that I've never forgotten a story I read in that book about Terry Fox, he was a canadian 22 year old guy who had cancer and lost his leg, then he recovered from the cancer he had and decided to start running with his wood leg to raise some money for the children that had that terrible disease. No doubts about it, he was a hero, and very famous through Canada, which was the country he run across to achive his goal back in te 80's.

Running is the very particular activity I dislike, I mean, I got tired when I walk to the corner of my place to take my bus to go to work. But as I have seen, running is the activity everybody who has a problem or is passing through a moment that represents stress does.

Maybe is just me, but what about Forrest?... yes, Forrest Gump, don't tell me the guy didn't have issues and, well... he decided to run, the reason, he never could tell! but the truth is that he inspired so many people in that movie that really moved me.

I happen to know another little person who runs, once I asked him what did he feel when he was about to start...you know, when the jury is watching and everybody is expecting you to win and all that adrenaline is running up and down your body and he said: "what do I think?...mmm...that I don't have to fall over!!". Yeah I know, he's not very talkative but at least he made his point, he told me he felt fear.

I cuestioned him about his medals and all his triumphs and he actually hates talking, so he said: "Kinky I run 100 meters in 13 seconds, and you guess I think about something in that little time??". Yes, my little nephew is just amazing, I remember I used to hear my mum talking abouth is races all the time but I didn't live here with him and I have to admit I never thought it was such a big deal until my mum took me to one of his races...I felt to excited to watch him run that I broke into tears as well as my mum. What a fast little bastard!!! the first position was his the minut that person next to all the runners pulled the trigger.

Gabriel is 12 years old, and his resistence has made him the winner in all the school championships in the city in the last 2 years. Let's say he doesn't have any troubles at first sight but he's quiet and shy because of his little confidence, and that is what a selfish mother and an irresponsible father have caused. He was raised by my mother and my sisters, his dad (my asshole brother) has never lived with him and he's been psicologycally treated since he was 4.

I told him, I thought he was gonna give me a very excited answer when I asked him about his feelings in the moment of the race, but later, when he was in a very deeply talk with his mummy (my mother) he told her: "All the kids I run with feel happy when they got the second or the third position... but is like I can never feel happy mummy, why do I feel this way?".

In that moment I knew that he run because is the only thing he can do to decompress all the sadness, or the rage, or the confusion he is into. In that moment I understood why my mum is all over him all the time, I guess she's all that he has, maybe make her happy and proud is all that he thinks in those 13 seconds; his depression breaks my heart, and there are days when feels good and wants to go out or ask for a pizza, but there are other days when he's just laying on his bed and watching nothing in front of the TV... (I don't know...).

You can actually see the blue in his eyes, and let me tell you, is pretty frustrating. We are able to do nothing, but when he is trainning and running the expression in his face changes completly. I asked him about the feelings he has for the other kids that run with him and he beats so easy, and he told me he felt that he wanted to beat them, so I guess he has the conviction.

Today in the afternoon we watched together in HBO the movie about the canadian guy I mentioned before. As usual I cried half of the movie, but he was quiet and silent while I was asking him all those questions about the races he told me about the technical things you have to consider while running.

So, if eveybody is running to feel better, I guess I have to start doing it because my overweight and my job are consuming my life. And yesssss, I'll say it again... I NEED A BOYFRIEND!!