Digamos que aún no la he pasado mal, llegue a Chile hace ya tres dias y pese a que todo es exactamente lo mismo, no me siento triste ni deprimida aún. La verdad es que me vine de "vacaiones", entonces el hecho de que esté esprando deprimirme o sentirme mal es algo más patético que premonitorio.
Ayer mientras caminaba por la playa escuchando a Cerati en mis audifonos me puse a pensar que tal vez, como lo dicen todos, lo que necesito no es seguir viajando, sino que algo me falta, pero la verdad es que aún no sé que lo es eso y en vez de deprimirme, prefiero pensar que todos estan locos y que se pueden meter sus consejos en el mismo horto.
Tengo casi 30 años, no tengo trabajo, volvi a vivir con mis papás y si pasan unos tres meses más ya serán 4 años sin tener una relación adulta y decente con otro ser humano del sexo opuesto, por qué? PUES NO TENGO IDEA!!
All I know now is that maybe missing him is the only thing I have left, I got clingy on a situation that makes me sad but gives me hope at the same time. Meeting him helped me a lot, it was a very rough time for me, and maybe quiting al I had in Chile just to have the option of seeing him again is reaching me to get that thing that I said I don't know what it is, but everybody seems to be mentioning lately.
I know he doesn't read my blog, he hates that it is in Spanish, and to be honest my intention of learning Dutch is not as optimistic as it used to be. Maybe because after all the things that I've been trying I have realized that I'm not going to Holland this year...God that makes me sad!
Why does it have to be so fucking difficult to get a visa...is just a god damn paper...and believe me I have met many people who has done it, getting to Europe is my obsession!! why not me? Sometimes I think is more than a visa what stops me from getting there. What's wrong with me?
No comments:
Post a Comment