Monday, September 26, 2005

An "x" A dilemma




An “ex”, a dilemma

Life is all about making choices, some of them, like who is the right guy for us, are big, while the others are bigger, like should I be friends with my ex?

Some women think that if a man doesn’t want a long-term meaningful relationship, his friendship is worthless so we ought to withhold the friendship as a punishment, because when things really work out our friendship is a bonus.

In nature, the black widow spider bites off her mate’s head when they’re through with the mate act, but human females don’t need to be so radical, for me is better to think: “we didn’t work out, I need you not to exist”, however my romantic female nature pushes me through issues like “if you really loved someone and then you broke up, where did the love go?.

Maybe a more pessimistic point of view could be: “did the love ever exist when we were together?”. Anyway, this leads me to that popular myth which says that there’s always someone who loves more than the other in a relationship.

Obviously you aren’t aware of this fact until you see him with the “new girlfriend”, and there’s where my question is answered, where did the love go?... well it rushed off straight to the “new girlfriend”, after that we MUST, I insist, we MUST move on. Wake up everyday and repeat to yourself: “they’re happy, we’re over”.

In mathematics the “x” stands for the unknown, right?. So a plus b equals x but what is really unknown for me is what? plus what? equals friendship with an “ex”, and what happens when you were the one who loved more and he was only “trying” to commit or just having a good time over you?

I must admit then, that when the love factor is stronger in your side you’re going to end up knee-deep in shit questioning yourself, and trying to figure out “why not me?” or even worse “why is he able to commit with someone else?”, this face is the worst!

Finally after a couple of moths crying, depressive and with a few more kilos gained, you are capable of looking at the whole situation under a very different perspective, maybe the problem wasn’t you, maybe the problem is that some girls aren’t meant to be tamed and maybe some guys aren’t ready to deal with it.

In a chauvinistic society like today’s, self-sufficient and independent women aren’t looking for the guy who tame them, today’s women need to run free until they find someone just as wild as them to run with, and only after that the friendship grows big.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Quién podrá saberlo. Es tan indeterminado, queda en la nevuloza del amor y en la inconsistencia de las palabras que pronunciamos cada cierto tiempo. Las mías dicen afirmar que ya todo pasó y que no hay nada más de que hablar.

Es cierto y es una afirmación: ya todo pasó, pero hoy es su cumpleaños y a propósito de ello, me acordé que hace un par de meses pensé que cuando llegara esta fecha, todo iba a estar pasando, que seríamos tan felices, y que ya no nos veríamos enfrentados al dolor que se mantuvo todo el tiempo. Aquel problema o mejor dicho, su pareja.

Mi gran dificultad es justamente lo que comento: la proyección de algo sin pié ni cabeza. Anhelar aquel sueño inalcansable a los labios de este... ¿cómo llamarlo?, intenso acercamiento afectivo sin mayor análisis. Al final un webeo.

Para él si, para mi no. Y no quiero parecer llorón, ¡para nada!, pero es que si, yo lo ví como algo distinto. Era mi oportunidad y quien yo creí inconscientemente, el únicó. Gran error, que estúpido, si todo al final tiene que terminar.

Una amiga me dijo que el problema de los cuentos de hadas es que extendieron tanto la historia que nos quedamos sin saber que pasaba después del matrimonio, y que es justamente lo que todos vivimos y que lo vimos retratados hasta que nos llega de golpe, de zopetón.

Bueno, el punto es que hoy es su cumpleaños. Ojalá no se sienta solo, ojalá sea feliz y disfrute de su amor lejano, y de su decisión: alejar a alguien que se hábía subido a la micro sin que lo llamaran y sin pagar nada, costo que al final "siempre hay que cancelar" y que espero haber cumplido con creces, ya.

hoy es su cumpleaños y da lo mismo el número. No está conmigo y ya no estoy con él. Que más queda que desearle lo mejor y colgar el teléfono esperando que suene la llamada correcta del amor.

r.a.-